Navigating Parenting During the Holidays

Parenting during the holidays can feel like both magic and mayhem.  Between overstimulation, family dynamics, gifts, travel, nap schedules, and the pressure to make everything picture-perfect, it’s easy for even the most grounded moms to feel dysregulated.

If you find yourself moving through the season with a tight chest, racing mind, or the sense that you’re holding all the things—you’re not alone. And you’re not doing anything wrong. The holidays place an enormous mental load on parents, particularly mothers and birthing people, and your nervous system is simply responding to the overwhelm.

Below are some common challenges that come up this time of year—plus compassionate ways to support your mind and body through them.

1. Overstimulation: Too Many Sounds, Smells, People, and Expectations

Holiday overstimulation is real. You’re juggling kids running around with new toys, extended family talking over each other, travel transitions, disrupted routines, and sensory-heavy environments.

What it can feel like:

• Irritability
• Brain fog
• Feeling touched-out
• Difficulty focusing on conversations
• A desire to suddenly “escape”

How to support yourself:

• Step outside for 2 minutes of quiet and slow exhales.
• Create a “family pause plan” (a quick reset with your partner or kids).
• Use grounding touch: a hand on your heart or on the back of your neck.
• Give yourself permission to skip one activity or leave early.

Your nervous system isn’t being dramatic—it’s trying to protect you.

2. High-Functioning Anxiety Around Gift Giving

If you’re a high-functioning, detail-oriented parent, you might feel pressure to find the perfect gifts: meaningful, thoughtful, budget-friendly, and of course something the kids will actually use.

Anxiety loves to whisper things like:

• “Did I get enough?”
• “Is this personal enough?”
• “Will they judge my choices?”
• “What if my kids aren’t excited?”

Gentle reframe: Gift giving is a gesture—not a performance. Your worth is not tied to how delighted everyone is when they unwrap things.

Try this:

Before you buy something, ask yourself:
“Is this chosen from pressure or from love?”
Let love be enough.

3. Ruminating About Family Dynamics (Before, During, and After)

Whether you have supportive family, complicated family, or a mix of both, the holidays can stir up old roles, emotional triggers, and anticipatory dread.

Rumination can sound like:

• “What if someone makes that comment again?”
• “Should I bring this up or stay quiet?”
• “I know I’ll get overwhelmed—how do I prevent it?”
• Replaying interactions hours (or days) after they happen

Supportive tools:

• Have 1–2 “exit strategies” with your partner or a trusted friend.
• Set a boundary before you arrive (even if it’s just with yourself).
• Practice a grounding phrase such as:
  “I can only manage what’s mine.”
• Move your body after hard interactions—shake, stretch, or take a short walk.

Your job is not to regulate the room. Just yourself.

Check out these additional tips from the APA here.

4. The Invisible Mental Load of Parenting

Parents—especially moms—hold the logistics of the season:
The menus, the packing lists, the gifts, the activities, the clothes, the naps, the traditions, the travel, the emotional temperature of the family.

Even if you have support, the invisible labor feels heavier this time of year.

Signs you’re carrying too much:

• Snapping at small things
• Feeling resentful but pushing through
• Feeling like you’re “failing” even though you’re doing everything
• Mental exhaustion before the day even starts

Regulation + relief:

• Delegate one thing that’s been living solely in your mind.
• Reduce “holiday shoulds” by 10–20%.
• Choose one tradition to honor—not twelve.

Small adjustments create big relief.

5. Unwanted Parenting Advice From Well-Meaning Family Members

Parenting during the holidays is hard enough…parenting with an audience can be even more challenging.

It often comes out of nowhere:

• “You’re still nursing?”
• “I wouldn’t let my kids do that.”
• “You’re spoiling the baby.”
• “If you just tried ___, things would be easier.”

Even if said with love, unsolicited parenting feedback can feel invalidating.

How to protect your energy:

• Use a “soft boundary”:
  “Thanks—we’re doing what works for us right now.”
• Or a firm one:
  “We’re not looking for advice today.”
• Redirect the conversation to something neutral.
• Make eye contact with your partner if you need backup.

You don’t owe anyone an explanation for how you parent.

6. The Pressure to Create a “Perfect” Holiday

Perfectionism thrives during the holiday season—especially for women who feel responsible for keeping traditions alive or creating magical memories for their kids.

But perfectionism disconnects you from the very moments you’re trying to savor.

Try this grounding question:

“What would this look like if it were good enough?”
Not perfect—just good enough.

The moments your kids remember are the ones where you were emotionally present, not the ones where everything looked Instagram-worthy..

A Nervous-System-Friendly Holiday Is a Real Thing

Here’s your permission slip:
You do not have to earn rest, joy, or connection this season by overextending yourself.

A holiday that supports your mental health might look like:

• A simpler menu
• Fewer events
• More downtime
• Breaks built into the day
• Lower sensory environments
• Letting the kids watch a movie so you can breathe
• Choosing peace over perfection

You’re allowed to make choices that protect your energy, your capacity, and your family’s well-being.

A Final Note

If you’re parenting with high-functioning anxiety, overstimulation, or perinatal transitions, the holidays can feel heavier—not because you’re doing them “wrong,” but because they demand more than the average nervous system can hold.

Supporting yourself isn’t selfish; it’s responsible.
Your regulation becomes your child’s regulation.
Your calm becomes their safe place.

And that is far more meaningful than a perfect holiday ever could be.

If you’re seeking more support this season, reach out and schedule your free consultation with one of our skilled clinicians.