Reflection Over Resolutions: Why “New Year, New Me” Falls Short

How many times have you entered January chanting “new year, new me”—only to feel disappointed, discouraged, or deflated by February?

If this sounds familiar, you’re not failing. You’re human.

Research consistently shows that New Year’s resolutions rarely stick. Studies suggest that only about 8–9% of people successfully maintain their resolutions long-term, and as many as 80% abandon them by February. Motivation tends to spike in early January, but without clarity, support, or nervous-system safety, that momentum often fades quickly.

So why do resolutions fail so often?

Many are rooted in pressure rather than self-understanding. They rely on willpower instead of sustainability. And they’re frequently framed around fixing ourselves—rather than listening to ourselves. When the inevitable stress, exhaustion, or life transitions show up, the goals collapse, leaving behind shame instead of growth.

As a therapist, yoga teacher, and mom of two, I’ve found that a more humane and sustainable approach isn’t about setting resolutions at all—it’s about reflection.

Instead of asking, What should I change about myself? I ask, What is already showing me what I need?

The following questions are offerings from my own reflection practice. You’re welcome to use one, some, all, adapt them, or create your own version entirely. There’s no right way to do this.

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Reflection Questions

What Nourished Me?

What truly filled my cup this past year?
What felt energizing, grounding, or worth the effort—even when life felt full?

These are the experiences, relationships, or practices I want to intentionally make room for again.

What Depleted Me?

What took more than it gave?
What left me feeling drained, resentful, or disconnected from myself?

Naming this isn’t about blame—it’s about clarity and choice.

What Challenged Me?

What felt difficult and possible?
Where did I stretch, build confidence, or gain skills—even if it was uncomfortable at the time?

Growth doesn’t always feel good in the moment, but it often leaves something steady behind.

What Am I Curious About?

What feels quietly interesting or inviting right now?
A new idea, hobby, skill, or connection—without pressure to commit or perform.

Curiosity can be a gentle guide forward.

What Sustains Me?

What are my non-negotiables?
The tried-and-true supports that help me feel grounded, regulated, and connected—personally or professionally.

These are often simple, consistent, and easy to overlook, yet wildly important.

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Alternative to “New year, New me” mentality

A More Intentional Way Forward

For me, this kind of reflection feels far more nourishing than resolutions. It’s less about becoming someone new and more about honoring what already supports me—and lovingly releasing what doesn’t.

You don’t need a new version of yourself to enter a new year.
You need permission to just be, as you are.

If you decide to sit with these questions, remember: however you choose to show up this year is enough.

Let Us Support Your New Year Intentions

If one of your intentions for the New Year is to prioritize your own self-care, reach out and schedule a consultation call to learn about how we might be able to help!